I'll Be There For You!

Ok ok, so i'am a day late! So what? One doesn't need an occasion to express one's gratitude towards one's greatest gift of all !

F.R.I.E.N.D.S (No not the Sitcom)

And so facebook, twitter and other socnet sites were flooded with friendship day cards, sentimental quotes, nostalgia, and other bla! Looking at all those status updates made one thing very clear. Of all the relationships that man has (excluding parents), friends make the most impact on that person's life.

When we attended school, we spent 40%, No. Scratch that. 60% of our daily awake-time with these soon-to-be best friends. Some stick together right until their under graduation and some even beyond that. Nevertheless, the time spent with them extends far more than the time spent with anyone else. That's pretty amazing isn't it??

You guys rock!!

As you grew, so did they. With you. Beside you. Caring and supporting and providing a great sense of camaraderie. Just pause for a moment and think about it. The revelation is overwhelming. We are born at different places, at different times and at different situations. Yet, when you start to enjoy the simplest of conversations with the stranger you just met, you know for sure that you are meant to be best buddies!

Ofcourse, not everyone stays. Some leave. Some enter. Some change our lives forever. And there my friend, lies its beauty. Unrelated by blood, unrelated by religion and unrelated by caste or other forms of discrimination, the bond is secular.

So what i wish to say is this! You, my friend !! I'm truly blessed and grateful to have you as my friend because there is none like you!

I'll be there for you! :)

The Hero We Needed !

M. I . N. D. B. L. O. W. I. N. G

Nothing Less. Nothing More. An excruciatingly painful wait post the insanely awesome performance by Joker in The Dark Knight has finally borne fruit - The Dark Knight Rises!

Every single Batman fanatic and every single functioning press in the world have already put out rave reviews and in-depth analyses of this masterpiece of a movie. With very few  IMAX theaters in my country, it was either travel 390 miles by train to Prasads IMAX, Hyderabad or settle for our local favorite Sathyam Cinemas with its powerful yet smaller screen. Nope. Nada. Never. A movie of such scale and grandeur needs to be seen on the format for which it was exclusively made. And my god!! What an experience it was!

There are many scenes when one feels like one is Bruce Wayne and feels the need to take the tumbler and save the distressed citizens! That's the power of IMAX! With 72 minutes of IMAX footage, i dare you to say "Nah that wasn't impressive" I DARE YOU ! :)

Yes, we all know that this is Batman's return to a bleaker and more gloomy Gotham City and that Batman has finally met his match - aka Bane (Tom Hardy i salute you!). But is that all is this about? No! Christopher Nolan's movies always have a human connect, the emotional strings tugging your heart and exquisite moments that leave a satisfying taste and keep you pondering about them many days after the movie!

The Dark Knight Rises does all that and more! Batman Begins was revolutionary cinema in its own right. Nolan had done something unheard of. He took a superhero franchise that was treated as a cheesy and twisted plot with no real meaning or purpose, and made it into something more entirely. He made it a Legend. And How !!

Batman Begins was about Bruce Wayne, coming to terms with his fears and violent emotions and discovering that his purpose in Gotham City was much more than providing resources to the poor. The death of his parents consuming him with anger ultimately makes him be a part of the very underworld responsible for his parents death. With the help of Ras-Al-Ghul and the League of Shadows, he understands that he has to become a symbol. A symbol that strikes fear in the heart of the villains and that inspires the poor and the weak. At its core, the movie offered so much insight to the origins of Batman and immediately made us empathise with his fear and pain. Batman Begins was all about the transformation from a seething and stormy young man to a symbol that evokes awe and fear.

Epic Cave Scene (Batman Begins)

3 years later, the world met the likes of a dastardly Joker never before portrayed with such intensity and madness as Heath Ledger did (you are sorely missed!). The Dark Knight brought alive the age old clash between Batman and his most deadly arch nemesis - The Joker. Taking cinema and the Batman franchise to new heights, The Dark Knight blew us all away! Nolan with his trademark subtle touches to key characters (Two face) ensured that we understood that there are some people in this world who just want to watch the World burn. Brrrrrrrrrrr ! Freaky! But TDK wasn't about the Batman, it was about the Joker. The influence of "Batman - The Killing Joke" is visible throughout! A convincing plot, bullet proof screenplay, intense dialogues, spectacular live action, and a lifting sound score easily made this one of the best movies of the 21st Century. Period.

Oscar worthy scene! Brrrrrr

And when a third instalment was announced, speculations arose like never before! Who could be the next villain? How can anyone top the unmatched and unparalleled onscreen intensity portrayed by Heath Ledger? What could the plot be? Bla bla bla bla. That was the day the world lost its mind. Christopher Nolan is a household name now. Critics rose and took notice of this brilliant mind (Memento, Prestige and Inception) and acknowledged the fact that he had a herculean task in hand. But as we Nolan fans say, "In Nolan we trust!" He just can't go wrong! Never!

And so it was announced that the villain would be Bane played by Tom Hardy (see Warrior) and that Catwoman would be played by Anne Hatheway (Critics can eat their old shoes now). It was also announced that this would the epic conclusion of The Dark Knight Trilogy. But no! How could this be? Fans wanted him to keep churning Batman movies. But it was made clear that it had to end with one last hurrah!

Dey Shay Bah Sah Rah!

As said earlier, The Dark Knight Rises is brilliance personified. With a hulking villain who not only matches Batman mentally but also puts the strength of the Bat to the task. All those toe to toe fight sequences between Batman and Bane is pure adrenaline rush! And to finish it, Nolan neatly wraps up the loose ends and creates a sense of euphoria and nostalgia that made me wish the series would never end. The Dark Knight Rises is about Batman once again and more importantly about Bruce Wayne, his struggle to overcome his demons and his steel will to save the very people who have outlawed him.

Not Everything. Not Yet.

All in all, TDKR is an experience not to be missed! Put aside the minor flaws and you won't be disappointed! The Joker and Bane are two completely different kinds of villain. One is a insane, yet cunning mastermind. The other is a harbinger of doom and terror.

The climax alone would show why Nolan is a great film maker and screen play writer! (I'm not saying anything more!) Thank you Nolan brothers! Through you, we have seen and experienced depthful characters immortalised on the big screen! And thank you for showing this world that there is no audience for brain-dead and cheesy cinema!

Christopher Nolan, your not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed!

(Screen fades to black. Hans Zimmer's music booms)

When Shit Happens

Minding their business

It was God's creation. An abundant species. With a jet black body, eyes like white marbles and coupled with an incessant sound, it circles the high skies...watching...waiting...and preparing to strike at the opportune moment. Yes, you would have figured out by now that i'm referring to that nasty and vile creature: (No offence!)

THE CROW (caaw caaw, no not that horror movie)

Why so much angst you ask? Well, i'l have to rewind the clocks by 2 years to narrate this gooey story. (Alert! Do not read further if you do not like gross stuff and if your the Lord Labaku Das type!)

<<GOING BACK IN TIME>>

<<<March 2012..Zkkk Zkkk Zkkk.. -> November 2011..Zkkk Zkkk..-> January 2011..Zkkk Zkkk.. March 2010>>>

3 months into my first job, i was happy with the way things were turning out..And of course, being a lover of long distance biking, the journey from my home to my workplace was initially blissful. Why? Because i have a machine that loves me back as much as i love 'her'. The Yam R15. The bike and i are one you know.

Anyway, so as always i park my bike outside the office (duh) and go to work (duh). This was the routine for the last 3 months. And then it happened..straight out of a Night Shyamalan Movie. There is a huge bla-bla tree outside the office that spans across half the street with its terrifying bark and branches..it sways and creaks to the winds and gives a terrifying effect when it gets dark in the evening..BUT. Among those branches and leaves, i could feel a 100 eyes watching me, the electric tension making the strands of hair on my head stand up. And there it was. Or should i say, there they were. Perched on the branches in perfect battle formation, they blessed me with a holy darshan of their bottoms..Shock. Realisation. The enormity of it all !

They were getting ready to drop the BIG GUNS! The adrenaline rush was incredible, time slowed down, just as how the environment is blurred while aiming down a target, all i could see were the sinister beaks and ready-to-drop behinds of these crows. The scrawny one 20 feet above me drew first blood, and that was the moment that changed my entire life..!

In Slow-Mo, i saw the white/yellow/brown gooey substance making its way down - to me. Reflexes numbed, and with zero reaction time, SPLAT!!!! and LO, i was anointed in holy kaka pee (crow shit in Tamil). I swear i heard that sonofagun say "You want a piece of me punk?!"

Shaken by the attack, i prayed that the madness would stop. But no..the Others. They wanted to relieve some of the pent-up frustration too. And suddenly, 6 crows made a coordinated strike by trying to box me in a turtle formation and another 3 swooped down like B2 Bombers..! After all the chaos and after the poop splattering spree, i was shocked to see that my bike was completely bathed in fresh golden poop! and i was left with minimal damage to my shoulders and feet! AAARGHH!
The Black Beast (the bike) was now a dalmation dog!
Everyday, like clockwork the battalion of crows would do "Poop Visarjan/Pee Abhishegam" on my bike and i'l have to get down and dirty and clean the mess up! EVERY SINGLE DAY.

So what is the deal with these crows huh? Why is that they get such sadistic pleasures in defacing innocent humans, inanimate vehicles or those poor freedom fighters (the statues ofc)? And why is that these creatures sit on high altitude places and poop? Is it because they want to make an 'impact' ?! Would it hurt if they just sat on some wall or something and attended to their business?? Ah...alas i do not know the answers to these questions.

But i do know the reason why crows poop so much. That's because they eat like pigs! So this is what i presume is there on their daily menu: 

6.00 AM : Wake Up. Crow for some time.
7.00 AM : Meet up with some of my homies. Group crowing sessions begin. (Need the exercise)
8.00 AM : Fly to the nearest temple. Grab a bite of the holy offerings.
9.30 AM : Fly to Brahmin Household with homies. Eat into the carb rich ghee + pappu mammam (rice) left for us. (We crows are your ancestors you see)
10.45 AM : Fly to the nearest butcher shop. Dig into those delicious leftovers. Caaw Caaw (Yum Yum)
1.30 PM : Ah! is that a dead rat i see? Scavenging Time! Caaw Caaw (Double Yum)
3.30 PM : Fly to Corporation Dumpyard with more buddies. Ah this is the mother lode! Eat eat eat!
5.30 PM : Hmm, stomach rumbling, must loosen up bowels. Must find comfortable tree.
6.00 PM : <<Perched atop THE tree>>
6.15 PM : All homies get excited! Caaw Caaw Caaw (Look look! Jayanth's shiny bike! Lets have some fun boys!) Instructions from Group Leader <<SIT UPRIGHT>> <<POSITION BUM DIRECTLY PERPENDICULAR TO BIKE>> <<WHEN YOUR READY>> <<LET 'EM HAVE IT>> SWooooooosshh!! SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!!
6.30 PM : Ahhh..whate relief. Lets scram boys.
6.45 PM : Jayanth leaves from work. Looks outside. Bile outburst. End of Story.

Yep, this is exactly what must be happening on a daily basis. Bottomline: Crows love to poop on unsuspecting people and objects.

And me? I have been diagnosed with severe Aerial Avian Coprophobia ! 

<<In the background, a dropping sound is heard..too late.SPLAT!>>

Damn you crow!!



P.S - Once again, a super duper ultra thanks to Sandhya Prabhat for the extremely awesome cartoon! This post is definitely incomplete without the pictorial support from her. (She will soon teach the existing gurus a thing or two in the future)

If you liked this post, just share or e-mail it to your friends!

To read my other post with Sandhya's cartoon, see A Place to Be Naked.

About Sandhya:

Sandhya Prabhat is from Chennai, India. She is a freelance illustrator and animator, and has finished her MFA in Animation and Digital Arts in NYU Tisch Asia School of the Arts, Singapore. She has a Bachelor's degree in English Literature from Stella Maris College, Chennai. She also enjoys reading, writing and appreciates good vegetarian food. She is currently utilising 100% of her brain for multiple projects for several clients. 

No, she does not have a blog yet but hopes to have one soon. 


She can be reached at sandhya.22@gmail.com

Invaded

 

Depressed. Shocked, Disgusted and Disturbed. These emotions are just mild expressions of what i'am really feeling. No this is not some stupid rant about my petty life. It's about Her. The common woman. And what about her you ask? She gets raped a 1000 times a day of course.

I'am not here to introduce you all to the phenomenon of rape. It's out there. Happening right now. Could be near your comfortable home or in some dark, dingy and cursed place in the middle of no-where. She is going through it. And some prick's sexual ego is being stroked.

If you too, have the unfortunate habit of reading Google News everyday, you would notice that more than the news about some scientific breakthrough made by some nameless sonofagun, there are more articles reporting the rape of a minor girl or an old aunty or some other sick perverted BS. So these are what i see on a normal, bright and sunny morning - articles peppered with the juices of journalistic creativity: (Courtesy - Our Media Hawks)

"15 Year old gang raped in broad daylight"
"2 teens gang raped by 15 men"
"23 Year old raped in a moving vehicle"
and so ffing on...

Ok so what's so outlandish about such incidents you may wonder..some sickos may even talk about karma, that these women actually deserved it! Out of some sick and twisted ideology! Can you believe it? Go and read the comments made by our junta and you will understand.

A recent article i read shocked the bejesus out me. So this is what happened.. 2 teenagers who were being raped in some desolate place by 10 men, cried out for help repeatedly and a few workers from the nearby fields heard the commotion and arrived at the place. And guess what happened next? They joined in the act too! I was so disgusted and overwhelmed with the monstrosity of the heinous act, that i couldn't fathom the gravity of the incident completely. Yes, this is what is happening these days. Gang rapes seem to be the new fad.

It is possible that the rape rate was always the same, and the fact that these incidents are being disclosed to the public may be due to women choosing to make a stand, rather than hide in their centuries old womb of fear. Or it is possible that there are infact more number of rapes happening across the country.

End of the day, i just cannot understand or digest these acts of evil. Don't they have sisters or mothers? Would they rape their own kin? How could they? We are pagans..worshippers of the elements..and more importantly, ours is the religion, where female deities take a prominent place. So what use is a Kali/Durga in this hellish world we live in?

I won't delve into what the government did or did not do to curb these incidents. No i am not talking for or against any existing punishments that are imposed on the convicted. All i am wondering/talking about is this..

If you had invaded the sacredness and dignity of a woman, then why are you not rotting in hell?

There is a saying in Tamizh..

"Arasan andru kolvan, Deivam nindru kollum"

Meaning - The Ruler/King gives justice then and there, but God will punish after some time.
Reality - The Ruler does not give instant justice and God does not care.

This is the sorry state of affairs. My sincere prayers and sympathies to all the affected, not only in India, but all over the World.

Wishing for a crime free world is perhaps Utopian and foolish..people like you and me are blessed. We have the power of democracy and here i am talking about a social evil and unable to take any sort of real action.

Bottom line, that's what we are. Powerless.

I bet my old socks Lord Krishna would be thinking right now.."i told you that Kaliyuga would be a bitch din't i ?!"

Amen to that.

Clooney's Sentinel

Ok so i'm in a serious mood..i usually avoid current affairs and typically blog on creative topics..But that doesn't mean i don't care about what happens in India or the other parts of the world..!

According to me there are two groups of humans in this world. The Lucky and the Not So Lucky. The Lucky ones (like me) get to live a tranquil life with simple issues such as power cuts, bad roads, corrupt officials etc peppered with the luxuries of life such as movies, food, etc. If 10 random people die in the hands of some random lunatics, it doesn't affect me. Nope. Maybe i would pity those poor souls. But that's just about it. What do we care? We live in our cocooned peaceful life don't we?

But the Not So Lucky ones, suffer. Not in the hands of the Devil. But in the hands of men who have lost their souls to greed, rage, violence and madness. Thousands die for no reason. Beaten, shunned and forced to flee, their lives like a Tight Rope Walk, with no clue about what they did to deserve such a fate. They are the ones that know what Death looks like because many a times, it comes knocking on their doors. Vulnerable and broken, hell must be a bed of roses for these poor sods.

This morning, while randomly absorbing my daily dose of gyaan, i stumbled on this news article from Global Post:

Clooney satellite project shows preparations for assault

At first glance, i couldn't make sense of it, George Clooney? Danny Ocean? What satellite project? Why him? an assault on who? These were the questions that flared in my mind. Filled with curiousity i dug deeper. What i read astonished me!

Before i enlighten you on Clooney's initiative, lets talk about the issue in focus. (in simple terms)

• What? : North & South Sudan have been at loggerheads since 1955.
• Why? : Oil reserves, ethnic clashes, southern rebels, grazing land, government negligence, arab-african showdown, division of South Sudan as separate country
• Conflict Areas ? : Abyei, South Kordofan, and Blue Nile
• Effect? : Darfur Genocide, Power Struggle over oil rich Abyei, dispute over South Sudan's independence, mass graves
• Peace Agreements? : Addis Ababa Agreement (1972), Comprehensive Peace Agreement (2005)
• Ok and? : More fighting, blood spilled, innocent lives lost, survivors turn refugees
• Uhuh? : South Sudan becomes Independent in 2011.

You get the point right? So where does our Descendants star step in you ask?

The Answer is a first-of-a-kind effort at peacekeeping and deterring mass atrocities and the resumption of war between Sudan (North) and South Sudan by combining a Eye-in-the-sky approach meets Proactive Action plan, which is:

 

George Clooney while visiting Sudan in Oct 2010 (4th time) initiated this project along with Enough Project co-founder, John Prendergast. What is really cool about this initiative is that it combines satellite imagery analysis and field reports with Google's Map Maker technology to detect signs of emergency or violence in the war torn regions of Sudan.

These satellites are able to capture possible threats to civilians, observe the movements of displaced people and also any signs of open military activity, detect razed villages and note other evidence of impending mass violence!

The project has been successful in detecting any human rights crimes even before they occur and has unearthed evidences of close to 8 mass graves in the South Kordofan region.

The Harvard Humanitarian Initiative, runs the research, operational and technical aspects of the Satellite Sentinel Project. It is what they call the 'Crisis Mapping & Early Warning System'. Bloody awesome if you ask me..!

Mass Grave Sites (as captured by Satellite Sentinel)

George Clooney in Sudan (from TIME Photos)

Of course, there has been criticism from all quarters against George Clooney over his involvement in this sensitive issue, but nonetheless, that is what we are really good at aren't we? Stand on the greener side of the field and pelt stones at the ones who are actually doing something.

I guess this is just the beginning. I'd rather read and keep myself informed on such matters than read nonsensical articles on how our media has glorified the entry of a porn star in a reality show.

Perpetrators beware. Miles above, Clooney's Sentinel is Awake.

 

That Someone..

Hey you all!..am not really in the fun fun mood! Am not here to narrate to you about the funny incident that happened to me..neither am i going to talk about something that i'd usually do..No... that's not it..More like the "gaze at the star, dreamy eyed, la-la land" mood...

You know, its 11.20 PM in Chennai, the time when usually i develop schemes to take over the world, BUT, it is not a scheme am thinking of..its raining heavily..the Gods seem to be celebrating..dancing..singing..and their joy flowing over all of us as i speak...

In situations such as these, i either get all nostalgic or i get all emotional..life has become such a rat race, that i never stopped, sat back and appreciated the finer aspects of life! You know!..and so...lost in the cool breeze that traversed hundreds of miles with the sole aim of pleasing me and the gentle, yet heavy pitter patter of the rains that sings a lullaby..i began thinking of...That Someone... although my mind strains to express a hundred different emotions, waiting to pop the cork..i am still lost for words..with whatever words i can think of...this is my ode to That Someone..

That Someone, who was always there
That Someone, who always cared
That Someone, oh who is full of love
That Someone, who is a beautiful dove
That Someone, who is all heart
That Someone, to whom i said "il never break apart"
That Someone, who stood by me
That Someone, who just has me
That Someone, who makes me smile
That Someone, who makes me cry

That Someone, who means the world to me

That Someone, who just hugged me
That Someone, who asked "what do you want?"

And i said.. "Just you my love"....

That Someone.......................................................

I am a Criminal !

[Jayanth's room..Dirty Harry playing in the background...]

Harry Callahan: "....this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?..."

[Jayanth realises that your staring at his blog, quickly pauses the movie..]

Jayanth: "...click..click click! ...Mute."

.................................................

Hey there!! That was one of the greatest Clint Eastwood quotes of all time..! So do i feel lucky today? Absolutely not..and why? you will soon know!

Almost 21 months into my job...and i've developed a really bad habit..staying awake till my  granma's ghost scares me to sleep and sleeping till my dreams become a reality..Vicious circle you see...Sleep late, wake up late and you end up doing everything late the whole day..take my work for example..today although i was prepped to leave early i still reached  the work place at 11 AM.

It was one of those days where one wonders "which side of the bed did i awake from?!"

As all of you would be aware, namma Chennai traffic will scare the pyjamas off of even namma Superstar Rajnikanth! He can do anything in this world, except avoiding/weaving through our traffic. And it always so happens that i had to get caught in the busiest of days - Today.

Thankfully, my faithful beast - Yamaha R15 - never lets me down. I hang my bag  on the two rearview mirrors so that it straddles my petrol tank (to avoid sweating you see), wear my helmet and the journey from my place (Saligramam) to my workplace (MRC Nagar) is a loong journey. I get to play road rash with my other late going office buddies, give evil stares to aunties standing in the middle of the road, try to act brave in front of the bus drivers, avert near certain death a couple of times and ofcourse, bask in the glorious Sunshine. Gives an awesome suntan you know. Try it out!

In the middle of all this, just 3 KM away from work, i get pulled over by namma traffic police. The usual scene - Sergeant with his humongous left thigh on his even bigger bike, seriously fiddling with something god knows what. The constables trying to catch every miserable sod on a two wheeler - ones not wearing helmets, overspeeding, riding with two pillion riders, and ofcourse the ones who obey traffic rules most of the time.

Maybe it was my bushy goatee or i dont know what exactly. The constable caught me reaching the signal and instantly jumped in the middle of the road and said -

"..Orama Va Pa Thambi!"

And so, confidently with the knowledge of and pride that i always carry my bike papers, i quickly slapped my license onto the waiting constable's outstretched palm alongwith my insurance papers. And he looked at me, pointed his finger to my bike's ass and said -

"Number plate fancy a poda kudathunu theriyadha pa??" (don't you know that wearing a fancy number plate is wrong?)

My mindvoice told me "F**K, i'm done for". Whatever precautions one may take, the smallest of details go unnoticed. I learnt that. Although i have immense respect for our Traffic Police and the responsibilities they undertake, i couldn't help but laugh at what was happening. Knowing that i was at fault, i voluntarily asked what the fine would be.

The Sergeant, with a smile said - "100 rupees kudunga sir, receipt bill tharen" Under the scorching heat, my already fried brain told me that i had forgotten to draw cash from the ATM. Sheepishly i told the officer that i had only 60 rupees in hand. And smack came the answer! "ATM pakathule iruku, poi draw pannitu vaanga sir!"

How lucky could i get? The nearest ATM was 2 KM away..and so i walked, jogged, drew cash and came back like a wet donkey. I signed the electronic receipt-churning machine and lo came the offence sheet. And what i saw shocked me!

I had been fined under two sections:

• Defective Number Plate - Sec 177 - Rs.50 (my fault, hence i can live with it)
• Disobedience to orders/abstraction/refusal to give information - Sec 179 - Rs.50   (What the hell!? when did i do that!?)

So what did i do upon seeing this? NOTHING. Why? Because its a waste of time.

So what sort of recklessness was that? I DON'T KNOW. Disobedience to orders? Me? I had practically handed out even my older insurance papers to these cops! Then why was i fined under that section?

What sort of disregardful behavior and brash violation was that? I will never know..! Worst part was i had even signed on the receipt unknowingly accepting a crime i never committed! Irony.

What i know is this...Just enacting a bill will not change anything. We are humans. Humans with emotions, thoughts and a very powerful gift of making our own decisions. Ultimately, a person who is inclined to cheat or take advantage of others, will stop at nothing.

Ink on paper doesn't sound very convincing when its actually an issue of changing the underlying moral values of us humans.

Given a chance to cheat, we will cheat.
Given a chance to fight, we will fight.
Given a chance to rob, we will rob.

After all, we humans place ourselves above anything else. These are the precious words coming out of the newly branded "Criminal"

So do i feel lucky punk? No.

Until next time, safe riding (and please do change your number plates, if its one of those 007 or BOSS type plates)

P.S - Subscribe to comments via email to follow up!

Blogging After A Hiatus

http://bit.ly/eG1S0J

God!! Its good to be back!! Been a while since i crunched away at the keypad to update my blog..after a matter of 3 weeks..here i am! typing some nonsense..its a cool cloudy Sunday..the perfect day to just chill...nothing like it i say! 

As i type these incorrigible words, with the chilly breeze hitting my face from outside the window..i just discovered a truth..BLOGGING ROCKS. These 3 to 4 weeks of not updating my blog has left with me with some sort of growing burden and a sense of dissatisfaction..now its all gone..iv finally broken away..iv broken my shackles..feels nice..feels light..


And if your reading this...its good to have you back!! I'v got my spark again..the cogs in my brain have started to move(finally)...as Jim Carrey would say it. "Its Gooood"

I'm a happy man now...back to something i love a lot! Until my next post...arrivederci !!

A Place to Be Naked

Before the Broca’s area of your brain makes you wander off to the land of i-can-streak-all-i-want…hold on I say!! I’m not talking about any place where you can actually get naked! But the funny thing is most of us have been to this place…this place to be naked is otherwise called as a Gymnasium! Ok so what’s the connection between getting naked and the bloody gym!? Well, if I were a Spartan (King Leonidas maybe?) in ancient Greece, I would be working out without a single shred of cloth to cover my body! To the Greeks, the gymnasium was a place where physical and intellectual education was imparted to the young athletes who competed in the nude. This practice was a tribute to their mighty gods and an appreciation of the male physique. Interesting isn’t it! 

Its a funny world!

Cutting to the present, so I joined a fancy gym located in one of the posh locales of namma Chennai, with the aspiration of gaining a physique which would at least be half as awesome as what Gerard Butler had in the jaw dropping movie, 300. This being my 3^rd gym, I should say i was quite excited due to the fact that the gym is said to be one of the best in Chennai, with dedicated trainers, loads of fitness equipment, huge training floors and most importantly, a lot of eye candy for the visually starved ;) 

And so began, my 3^rd attempt to sleep early, wake up early, hit the gym, go for work, spend time with friends, come back home, study and once again sleep early! To me this is a vicious cycle, screw up one, you screw them all! And on a fresh Monday morning, I entered the gym and informed the receptionist that today was my first day. The receptionist with her Colgate smile picked up the phone and called one of the trainers to assist me in the workout. The trainer, even though weary-eyed took me through the basics of the treadmill, the cross trainer, rowing etc.

Three weeks have passed by, and during one of the 20 minute treadmill thumping exercise, I observed. Now what is so new about that? We all observe our surroundings right? But the strange thing with me is, I like to see the way people carry themselves in a public place like the gymnasium. Like I said before we all have been to the gym at some point in our lives, and we can’t deny the fact that human beings are complex creatures! They come with different personalities, different attitudes and even in different shapes!!

However varied we might be, we do have some common patterns, we belong to a specific type and you, you who are reading this post know it as well. It is with this thought I made some very close observations. Observations of the place to be naked!

Say you are working out in the gym right now. Just pause the pumping music of your iPod, put down the barbells your holding and look around. What do you see? For the gym-hopper (like me) this would be a common but strange sight.

Turn your gaze to the cardio section; you would see a 40 year old uncle, bespectacled, balding and with a decent patch of hair around the head, dressed in a huge tee-shirt, with his chubby cheeks and copious stomach, struggling and sweating to keep pace with the speed of the treadmill, huffing and gasping for breath, with the dream that one day he can fit into his old 32 sized pants once again. Poor sod. Let him be.

Now look to the EFX cross trainer section; you would see a woman in her late fifties, with heavy duty make up, clad in a salwar, with gold bangles and necklace, slightly on the heavier side, lazily working out, watching the television. Now these women have never been to a gym in their lives before and hence the shyness to wear proper gym clothing! About the gold ornaments, I really don’t know!

Now comes the juicy part, err…I mean interesting part! Divert your attention to the corner of the gym; you would have definitely seen her! Yes, the bong bombshell, the bipasha look-alike, the one person who makes the rest of the men increase the speed on the treadmill and put on a few extra kilos on the bench press! She would most probably be dressed in a clinging outfit, straightened hair and with a seductive gait. Basically she is every man’s dream. God bless her because she makes it a worthwhile effort to visit the gym.

And there is always the trainer. Always. With his big hunky muscles and a flirtatious smile slapped across his face, short to medium haircut, he would always help the damsels in distress. The damsel in distress in this case is Ms.Bombshell. Both of them actually hit it off quite well. The workout sessions are a sight to watch… But alas! new bees like me are ignored, like as though we had joined the gym for free! And one other thing about trainers is their love to prescribe supplements to the men pumping iron. I’m sure many of you have been asked this question.

“Supplements saapdunga saar! Appo dhan pa udambu weight potu muscle laam valarum"

Well. That’s the trainer for you!!

The next person you will come across is the man-behind-the-butt! Yes, this is your typical pervert, always behind a woman’s behind, always looking for a chance to ogle and drool. This guy nicknamed The Ass Man does not come to the gym to workout. His objectives are clear and simple. Ass. Ass. And only Ass! As soon as he spots his prey, his eyes pop out, his heart rate quadruples, his mind starts thinking of a way to ogle but not get caught. This guy could be anybody. But most of the times, it’s either a man in his early twenties or a middle aged man. So all you women out there…beware!

Now just turn around and watch the weights section. Do you see that Arnold Schwarzenegger look alike? He is the beef cake of the gym, muscles so huge that even my thigh looks small compared it. Pumped with protein supplements he does not care about the people around him. As he adds 110 lbs on the bicep curl, the entire gym watches in awe as his biceps pop out, the nerves ready to burst, his eyes with fury, the sweat from his brows grazing the ground, and as the repetitions increase, one wonders if he is human at all! Unmatched and unrivalled, his body is every weightlifter’s dream.

And on the aerobics floor, it is possible to see a couple working out together. These two canaries are so into each other, that they are oblivious of their surroundings. All the guy cares about is the girl and all the girl cares about is the guy. The guy would be tall and lanky while the girl would be of medium stature, sweet looking with a pretty smile…Ok now leave those two lovebirds and move on.

These people are hard to miss. Trust me you have seen and been annoyed by them. They are the megaphones of the gym, the cellulite aunty in her late sixties, the skinny lady in her late forties and the uncles in his late fifties. They come fully dressed up in every brand present in the market, yapping away to glory about how they bought a new sari for Rs.20000 or some latest gossip about their relatives. With their loud guffaws and shrieks of laughter you just wish they would go away!

Well…I’ve sort of made you see the complexities and differences of the people around us. We can easily relate ourselves to one of the specimens mentioned above. That’s the beauty of it. But…there is always a big but (no pun intended) by the end of this long post, you must be wondering –

The writer of this post never mentioned anything about himself??

Well…me… I’m the skinny guy at some lone corner of the gym trying extremely hard, with all my effort to do some simple push ups! And where do I fit in here? I’m the observer, I just see what people do and rant about it to readers like you! That’s pretty much it :) and what am I going to do now? It’s back to the push ups for me!

1…groan…2….grunt...gnnnn... …3….arghh…4…until then! Cheerio!

Special Thanks to Sandhya Prabhat for agreeing to be the guest cartoonist for this post despite her busy schedule and also being able to deliver in such a short span of time. Many thanks to her for bringing alive what I had portrayed in my mind. That according to me is the characteristic of a true artist. Both of us hope that this post has been as much fun as it was, for her when she made the cartoon and for me when I wrote the post. Please do leave a comment below if you liked it!

About Sandhya-

Sandhya Prabhat is from Chennai, India. She is a freelance illustrator and animator, currently pursuing her final year MFA in Animation and Digital Arts in NYU Tisch Asia School of the Arts, Singapore. She has a Bachelor's degree in English Literature from Stella Maris College, Chennai. She also enjoys reading, writing and appreciates good vegetarian food. She is currently working on her thesis (animated) short film which will be completed in May 2011. 

No, she does not have a blog yet but hopes to have one soon. 

She can be reached at sandhya.22@gmail.com

Climbing Up the Penrose Stairs

Stuck in a Paradox.

The first question which will pop-up in your brain right now is “what the heck is Penrose Stairs!?”  To quote from the world’s best source of answers, ‘known as the impossible staircase wherein it is portrayed as a two dimensional object with four 90-degree turns, like an endless loop with the person climbing the stairs for eternity and never get any higher’…Fancy huh?

But wait! Don’t runaway! This is not about me trying to explain the illusion of the Penrose Stairs nor am I going to describe how the Penrose Stairs was used in that jaw dropping staircase scene featuring Arthur, (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in Inception..

This is about me asking questions to myself, the answers to which are either unknown or is beyond logical comprehension. I’m sure that when we were kids, we all pestered our parents with a barrage of questions like “Why is the Moon like an idly amma?” or “Why can’t I fly like Superman daddy?” or even bolder questions as how to how we were born and so on...

Personally, I’m curious and amazed by the things which are above and below us, things which others have not thought about. Take the Human Race for example, what are we doing here? Why are we here? What is the purpose of our existence? Of the billions of stars in the so called infinite universe (which by itself is a paradox) why is that the Earth has complex life forms with a species so volatile and unpredictable? Isn’t it fascinating to think about all this?

A few years back, I had this really wonderful and at the same time an atrocious imagination. As abstract as this may sound, I asked myself the ‘What If?’ question. I asked ‘what if the human race did not exist?’ ok fine I said to myself and I asked ‘what if the Earth did not exist?’ and so I kept rewinding to the solar system, galaxies, clusters and finally to the mother of all wonders. The Universe. And then it hit me like a roller coaster. My mind stopped thinking. The thought flow stopped. The brain refused to churn logical data beyond that particular line. It was as though the Hand of God had programmed us to not understand certain things. I asked myself,

“What if there was no such thing as The Universe, No Big Bang and hence nothing?

What is this void I’m stuck in?

The shock and magnitude of this thought brought me back to the beginning of it all,

‘WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?’

Like the Penrose Stairs, however hard I tried to climb, I ended coming back to the same place I had started like an endless time loop.

Speaking of time and the Universe, the concept of time travel and parallel universes has fascinated me a lot and made me ask further strange questions. I’m sure most of you have heard about the Grandfather Paradox and the Grandson Paradox. It has been debated upon for a long time, but like all tangent thinkers, I wondered why nobody thought about the present self.

According to the Grandfather Paradox, if I went back in time and killed my grandpa even before he met my grandma, then one of my parents would not have been conceived which in turn means I would not have been born too! BUT, this means that due to mysteries of the fourth dimension, I could not have traveled back in time at all, which means my grandfather would still be alive and I would have been born allowing me to go back in time again and kill my grandpa again. Don’t get it? Hang in there.

Now coming back to the present, what if I kill myself right now, this second? What then?

Obviously I will die and you will come for my funeral! But, think! Why can’t I be alive in a parallel universe which was triggered due to my actions in this universe!? Fantastic isn’t it! I personally believe in the existence of infinite parallel universes triggered due to choices made in this universe. To quote one of my friends,

“The past is part of some present and the present is part of some future”

Even the dreams we have could be alternate universes by themselves! Why Not? These dreams could influence our choices, leading to a hundred possible effects. Call it the Butterfly Effect if you want to!

My Take on Parallel Universes

Also, there would have been some point in our lives, when we felt we have already witnessed a present event in the past. Yes, I’m talking about Déjà vu, that strange phenomenon which keeps happening to all of us. My question is, is this phenomenon occurring because we already know what is going to happen or is it because we had a glimpse of our past self copies? We will never know...Atleast for now.

Like I said, it’s the Penrose Stairs. Some things just cannot be comprehended. And I cannot stop asking weird questions. To me, we are part of a never ending game of Age of Empires, with the Almighty whacking away at the keyboard commands with glee. The quest for life’s simple and twisted answers may seem like an endless climb. But then again, it’s all about perspective. The light at the end of the tunnel is what I’m heading towards. Now don’t ask me what that means! Go figure.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are my own and not meant to reach any scientific conclusion.